Saturday Night Live kicked off their new show tonight by bringing America a very important announcement from its new leader: Vladimir Putin.
After a brief notice that the programming was provided by the Russian Federation, a shirtless Putin came up and addressed the nation while celebrating the results of the election. The joke was obviously in reference to Trump and Putin’s rosy relationship, as well as the concerns that Russia might have compromised Trump while they supposedly interfered with the election.
Putin noted that people are skeptical of Trump, but he assured America that people were worried about his presidency too, and no one hears from them much anymore. He went on to lampoon everything from Kellyanne Conway‘s strange inauguration outfit, to the size of Trump’s inauguration crowd.
Putin assured the nation that “it’s going to be fine” under Trump’s new administration, though the pawn Putin dragged out to talk him up might disagree.
"Hello, America. Yesterday we all made Donald Trump the 45th President of the United States," Bennett's Putin said, without a shirt on, to the camera. "Hooray, we did it!"
Bennett's Russian leader then told Americans not to worry and promised he would take care of the country because "it's the most expensive thing we've ever bought."
Noticeably absent from the cold open of the NBC variety show was Alec Baldwin's Trump, but Bennett's Putin made sure to speak about the new commander in chief.
"Donald, let's talk as friends. You're not off to a great start, man. I thought you'd be better at this," Bennett's Putin said.
He then added that he was happy so many people showed up to Trump's inauguration -- as a clip from Saturday's Women's March played.
"Oh wait, that's the Women's March," the faux Putin corrected himself before again addressing Trump. "Today you went to the CIA and said one million people came to see you in Washington D.C. If you're going to lie, don't make it so obvious. Say that you are friends with LeBron James, not that you are LeBron James."
Actor and comedian Aziz Ansari, who hosted the episode, addressed the Women's Marches that took place across the country and the world on Saturday in his opening monologue.
"Crazy couple of days," Ansari said. "Yesterday, Trump was inaugurated. Today, an entire gender protested against him."
CNNMoney (New York) First published January 22, 2017: 8:18 AM ET
One day after President Donald Trump was sworn into office, "Saturday Night Live" opened its show with Beck Bennett's Vladimir Putin speaking directly to the American people.
"Что день грядущий мне готовит? Его мой взор напрасно ловит..."
The Twin Peak Mountain is very much there, and in sight, as it should be. And the pencils point in the right direction: to the big V, for Victory - for all; and also indicate "развилка" - the "crossroads". The next necessary element is the correct and smart actions, which, hopefully, will follow.
Rogozin, somewhat sad and pensive, holds a green folder: a green light has been received: "Yes, we are ready to travel to D.C. to meet with our colleagues, when and if invited, as you've suggested... " Ushakov, looking somewhat worried and defensive, placed a black briefcase in front of his chair, as if it were a shield: "Just in case, do not forget, we still have our nuclear suitcase with us..."
Greeting "царь додон" (for a balance, and as a counterpoint to the "Tale of The Golden Fish")
____________________________________________
A lot of drama!
"Нам бы только день простоять, да ночь продержаться, а там, авось вывезет... Авось... Авось..."
Если вы начинаете вязать с центральной полосы, то ее нужно укрепить парой рядов столбиков без накида, далее продолжаете вязать арочки или столбики с накидом, но без прибавлений.
Узор арочки можно заменить простыми столбиками с накидами, провязанными с пропуском между ними по одной петле предыдущего ряда. Авоська получится не такая ажурная, но будет также отлично держать форму.
Когда вы увидите, что высота вашей сумочки идеальна, пора начинать оформление. Для этого, последний ряд авоськи обвяжите простыми столбиками без накида. Визуально разделите кольцо входа в сумку на 4 части, отметьте все четыре точки булавками и начните вязать ручки. Это просто: дойдя до булавки, свяжите цепочку воздушных петель, она должна быть чуть длиннее расстояния, до следующей булавки. Затем соединительным столбиком привяжите цепочку к отметке на сумке и продолжайте вязать ряд столбиками без накида до следующей булавки. Аналогично свяжите вторую ручку.
Следующий ряд — столбики без накида. Ниточку в конце вязания закрепите, обрежьте и спрячьте.
Если вы начинаете вязать с центральной полосы, то ее нужно укрепить парой рядов столбиков без накида, далее продолжаете вязать арочки или столбики с накидом, но без прибавлений.
Узор арочки можно заменить простыми столбиками с накидами, провязанными с пропуском между ними по одной петле предыдущего ряда. Авоська получится не такая ажурная, но будет также отлично держать форму.
Когда вы увидите, что высота вашей сумочки идеальна, пора начинать оформление. Для этого, последний ряд авоськи обвяжите простыми столбиками без накида. Визуально разделите кольцо входа в сумку на 4 части, отметьте все четыре точки булавками и начните вязать ручки. Это просто: дойдя до булавки, свяжите цепочку воздушных петель, она должна быть чуть длиннее расстояния, до следующей булавки. Затем соединительным столбиком привяжите цепочку к отметке на сумке и продолжайте вязать ряд столбиками без накида до следующей булавки. Аналогично свяжите вторую ручку.
Следующий ряд — столбики без накида. Ниточку в конце вязания закрепите, обрежьте и спрячьте.
David's Sling (Hebrew: קלע דוד, translit.Kelah Da'vid), also formerly known as Magic Wand (Hebrew: שרביט קסמים, translit.Sharvit Ksamim), is an Israel Defense Forces military system being jointly developed by the Israelidefense contractorRafael Advanced Defense Systems and the American defense contractor Raytheon, designed to intercept tactical ballistic missiles, medium- to long-range rockets and cruise missiles, fired at ranges from 40 km (24.85 miles) to 300 km (186.41 miles).[1] David's Sling is meant to replace the MIM-23 Hawk and MIM-104 Patriot in the Israeli arsenal.[2] It is designed to intercept the newest generation of tactical ballistic missiles, such as Iskander, using an on-board dual CCD/IR seekers to distinguish between decoys and the actual warhead of the missile
Iron Dome (Hebrew: כִּפַּת בַּרְזֶל, kippat barzel) is a mobile all-weather air defense system[8] developed by Rafael Advanced Defense Systems and Israel Aircraft Industries.[7] The system is designed to intercept and destroy short-range rockets and artillery shells fired from distances of 4 kilometres (2.5 mi) to 70 kilometres (43 mi) away and whose trajectory would take them to a populated area.[9][10]Israel hopes to increase the range of Iron Dome's interceptions, from the current maximum of 70 kilometres (43 mi) to 250 kilometres (160 mi) and make it more versatile so that it could intercept rockets coming from two directions simultaneously.[11]
Iron Dome was declared operational and initially deployed on 27 March 2011 near Beersheba.[12] On 7 April 2011, the system successfully intercepted a Grad rocket launched from Gaza for the first time.[13] On 10 March 2012, The Jerusalem Post reported that the system shot down 90% of rockets launched from Gaza that would have landed in populated areas.[10] By November 2012, official statements indicated that it had intercepted 400+ rockets.[14][15] By late October 2014, the Iron Dome systems had intercepted over 1,200 rockets.[16]
Iron Dome is part of a future multi-tiered missile defense system that Israel is developing, which will also include Arrow 2, Arrow 3, Iron Beam and David's Sling as early as 2018.
